1. Sources for your thesis:
If you are charged with writing a lengthy research paper, find one very solid source that directly pertains to your thesis, and then you can use that source;s bibliography to back into locating new sources. Alternatively use the bibliography of a Wikipedia entry.
2. Buy Some Time
Need more time writing that paper? Grab a jpg, mp3, or other media file and rename it "My Awesome Essay.doc" and send to professor the "paper" will be look "corrupt" and it'll buy you a day or two more.
3. Get your Thumbdrive Back:
Put and "Identification.txt" file in your flash drives. include all relevant contact info so you can get it back if lost.
1. Get Paid to Poop:
You'll be using less of your own time an more of your company's time. If you poop for an average of 10min per day, your company will have paid you for more than 40 hours of pooping by the end of the year. That's half as long as most paid vacations
2. Keep Motivated:
If there's something big you need to get done, tell all your friends you're going to do it. The fear of looking like an ass helps keep you motivated.
3. Work As Beer Taster
When you're about to be born; press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A and select. If you did it correctly, you'll later get a job as a beer taster. (Ok this one is a lie or it better be if it works i got cheated)